These Words are a Red Flag

“I have a high pain tolerance.”

When someone tells me they have a high pain tolerance, a warning bell goes off.  

When I hear someone say “I have a high pain tolerance,” I hear “I've been through some sh*t and have learned to dissociate from my body." 

People who ACTUALLY have high pain tolerance due to genetics, age, sensory processing perception, etc don't realize that [X sensation] is generally pretty crippling to most people. They don't feel the need to mention it because they don't know that it's not normal.

“I have a high pain tolerance” directly translates to “I feel pain frequently” or “I live with a high baseline level of pain.”

People who tell me they have a high pain tolerance are often living with chronic, debilitating and invisible issues like migraines or endometriosis or PTSD. They've often been gaslight by the medical system and told that there's nothing wrong with them-- that their symptoms are all in their head.  

So they learn to ignore it. Wall it off. Stuff it down. 

I've learned to respond to these people with a different level of care. To ask different questions. To validate. To co-treat with other practitioners who will legitimize what they are feeling. 

Because when we bury pain and feelings and emotions, they don't really go away. They live in the body and act like a neglected child, begging for attention in any way they can: More pain, headaches, digestive upset, autoimmune diseases, chronic fatigue, cancer. 

If this topic interests you, I highly recommend reading The Body Keeps the Score and Molecules of Emotion.

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